Chivalry, Nobility, Loyalty...Huh?!

In our modern day culture... chivalry, nobility and loyalty are character traits as seemingly obsolete as the Medieval Days themselves. But as Robert Lewis writes in his book entitled, "Raising a Moder-Day Knight" these traits are not merely passing fades fleeting with cultural trends but are intrinsic to the nature of man and essential for his masculinity. This being the case - as I'm sure none would argue - then the question remains, what are we doing in an intentional way to instill these traits in our own sons, who by the way... do become men! (A phenomenom I still cannot fathom as I gaze at my own "knight in training" donned in pull-up pants)

Without mourning and weaping for the men of yesteryear, any mother so privliged as to have a tangible opportunity to positively impact this culture ought to take advantage and read Lewis's book. In closing I'll leave you with his words and not mine - it will serve to benefit your day greatly today!

"A Knight's Code of Conduct"

Once again, we can learn a thing or two from our medieval counterparts. From an early age, the page and then the squire apprenticed under men with social and moral ideals; they were personally trained in ethical standards that gave form and substance to life despite the morally hostile culture.First, a knight was expected to be loyal. In the words of Barbara Tuchman, "Loyaly, meaning the pledged word, was chvalry's fulcrum...A knight who broke his oath was charged with 'treason' for betraying the order of knighthood.

Next, the knight was expected to conduct himself like a champion. Every aspect of his behavior- whether in combat or in social settings- was he exude courage and valor. Third, the knight was charged to win the love of a women: to be romantic and chivalrous. And fourth, the medieval knight was required to practice generosiy, or largess. Sars George Duby, "The knight owes it to himself to keep nothing in his hands. All that comes to him he gives away."

The code exerted tremendous influence in sociey because, as Frances Gies points ou, "Many men in the Middle Ages embraced [he ideals] and tried to live by them: honor, unselfish service, dedication to justice, and protest against war's brutalities.

The Modern-Day Knight, like his medieval counterpart, must be trained in a Code of Conduct. According to Scripture, every son-from and early age-must be schooled in three critical areas I mentioned in the previous chapter:

A will to obey (God's will)

A work to do (according to his own unique design)

A woman to love

Lacking these elements, a son will flounder in adulthood; he will wrestle wih feelings of inadequacy, incompetence, and restlessness. But armed with them, a son becomes equipped to succeed in his relationship wih God, in his community and church, and in his marriage" (66-67).

A Day for Dhalia

Once upon a time there was a little flower who was visited daily by a steady stream of bumblebees. This once pleasant encounter became increasingly bothersome to this delicate Dahlia and the flower requested that the bumblebees find another pollen pad by which to penetrate.

"Will I ever have a day of peace!", wondered the exotic flower. So, slowly she recoiled drawing her petals tightly up and around her stamen making it clear: "shop's CLOSED!"

Some time passed and eventually Dahlia grew restless all curled up to herself. No vibrant colored petals of which to put on display for the passersby. No sharing in the sweet aroma from all of the other garden's blooms settling upon her stem. And worst of all, no sweet bees to prepare for.
"What is my purpose if not to bring beauty to the world? What is my purpose if not to aid in the pollination of other flowers!" Quickly and hurriedly Dahlia let down her petals.

In an effort to run from that which was instinctively "flower-esque" she reconnected with her purpose. She let her petals down making herself once more exposed. And as each petal lowered, like the transforming brilliance of color on her petals, little Dhalia's attitude toward the everyday demands expected of her transformed. The once seemingly bothersome bees and the overly voyeristic passersby became opportunities for her to share her beauty. Afterall, the rainfall would eventually come providing her the time off from "showing off"!

In her reconnection with her purpose Dhalia lived out fully that which she was created for... she was home again.

He Meets us Where We Are!

Recently I was sharing with some friends the following story. I had forgotten the magnitude of this experience but was reminded when retelling it so I wanted to share it here.....

I'll never forget one time I was taking a walk with my sisters and our babies at a nearby walking park. I had given Gabe my rosaries to hold in his stroller as we were going to say it later on together. When I asked him for them back, he (inevitably) said, "Oops!! Dropped them mommy" My favorite rosaries... GONE! What was I thinking giving them to a 2 yr old!

On our return back to the cars after the walk - a women was approaching us, hands clutched ... crying. When we finally got closer I realized she was holding my rosaries and sobbing. We all stopped, and she asked us if they were ours. I said yes and she she gestured to give them back.

I said "No, you have them... obviously they have touched your heart in a special way!" And she continued by saying that that she was going through a most difficult time in her life with her marriage and she just left her house that afternoon to clear her head ... she begged that if God were really there... to send her a sign not to go through with the divorce she was planning to file. Then on her walk she found these rosaries placed so "strategically" as for her to not walk right passed them. There was her answer... PRAISE BE TO GOD! :)

He never out does Himself in generosity and tenderness... meeting us always where we are!

Lessons Learned Inch by Inch...

While on an early morning walk today, my daydreaming came to a screaching halt when I found myself face to face with this dangling inch worm. It was no accident that our paths crossed this morning. This little guy had a life lesson in store for me and I was only glad to take the time and learn it.

You see, little inchy was dangling from a seemingly invisible thread far far far from the big tree of which he came.

I caught myself thinking, "Poor little guy, so far from home!! Wonder if he thinks life will be better down here on this pavement."

And immediately the age old mantra "the grass isn't always greener" came to forefront. Here he was, inching for undoubtedly the entire morning to get this far, only to inevitably learn that life far from his safe haven up there in that tree might not be all it's cracked up to be.

Give him one not-so-chance encounter with an inch-worm obsessed 3 year old whose primary mission in life is to fling worms of any kind from a stick. Or perhaps a not-so-chance encounter with the underside of the neighbors pick up truck tire. In an instant, all that inching...over!

Certainly I'm not advocating that this little fella remain only and forever in the home he's ever known and never attempt to experience the possibilities out there. Afterall, inch worms were given the ability to produce a thread-like substance by which they can hang from...might as well take advantage of the unside down ariel views! But maybe we, like the inch worm, aren't meant to abandon our "places of origin" in the pursuit of life and adventure. Maybe we are meant to keep that tether taut so as to be content with dangling. Maybe today we are exactly where we are meant to be for the moment and we ought not to inch our way out of the abundant joys and blessings that will meet us there.

I'm thankful for this chance encounter for it caused me to literally step out of my morning routine and into a moment of appreciation for the little things in life... like my inch long friend!